Despite It All

Despite that devil-may-care flip of the chin,
That air of nonchalance and ennui,
That steely shell of indifference,
That look of ultimate cool,
I really care what others think,
Especially of me.
I was born to be concerned,
Taught to sympathize and empathize,
Put myself in another’s shoes.
I see myself as others see me
And in general,
The view is not encouraging.
I hope to leave a legacy
Beyond mountains of debt and rueful choices.
Palimpsest is where I place my heart and soul.
I have built a monument to what may be
A testament to an overarching ego.
With few resources, save an active mind
And a less than active body,
My thoughts run wild
Where my legs cannot take me,
Charging back and forth
Across fields of imagination
Until brought up short by a eureka moment
That demands my undivided attention.
Despite failings too numerous to list,
Despite imagination held in check by boundaries
And experience too little, too little
And a heart that desires to exceed them,
I will continue to try.