Despite It All

Despite that devil-may-care flip of the chin,

That air of nonchalance and ennui,

That steely shell of indifference,

That look of ultimate cool,

I really care what others think,

Especially of me.

I was born to be concerned,

Taught to sympathize and empathize,

Put myself in another’s shoes.

I see myself as others see me

And in general,

The view is not encouraging.

I hope to leave a legacy

Beyond mountains of debt and rueful choices.

Palimpsest is where I place my heart and soul.

I have built a monument to what may be

A testament to an overarching ego.

With few resources, save an active mind

And a less than active body,

My thoughts run wild

Where my legs cannot take me,

Charging back and forth

Across fields of imagination

Until brought up short by a eureka moment

That demands my undivided attention.

Despite failings too numerous to list,

Despite imagination held in check by boundaries

And experience too little, too little

And a heart that desires to exceed them,

I will continue to try.

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