Doubt
What am I doing and why am I doing it?
A bit late to be considering such questions
Don’t you think?
Perhaps,
But, “For want of a nail, etc, etc.”
It seems there are many ways to get
From alpha to omega.
I hope I have considered them all
And judged them fairly.
But right now
I’m having a “Pontius Pilate” moment,
Doubting my judgement
While washing my hands.
This thing is almost set in motion
Ready to roll of its own accord,
A triumph or disaster depending on a breath
Blowing this way or that.
Have I brought it on myself?
Or been driven to it before a whip?
At this point either one will do,
It makes little difference,
But I’m here regardless.
I am Thomas searching out the wounds
To extinguish that ember of doubt
That will not go away.
There are chains that have kept me earthbound:
First despair and then doubt.
Despair, it seems is our common lot.
It is not pride that goeth before a fall.
It is doubt.
Doubt is the great leveler.
Doubt is the father of all might-have-beens.
It follows me everywhere I go
And gives me little sleep.
But around one more corner,
Over the next hill,
Beyond the far horizon,
I may have just given it the slip.